Not Supposed to Be
by Rabuyuu
Summary: [Shounen ai, YukixShuichi] When Shuichi gets antsy at a party he runs out only to be faced by a figure from Yuki's past...and some nightmares of his own.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well, my first piece of fanfiction posted on here so...tell me what you think, ne? Warnings of attempted rape? Shuichi over-reacting and maybe some OoCness. Hopefully it's not too bad.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, only the manga which I had to work hard to buy and afford. So don't try and sue me, you'll get nothing, mwhahaha.

**Not Supposed to Be... **

by Sumi-chan

Shuichi stood by Yuki, impatiently bouncing on the heels of his trainers. He hated these long, uninteresting talks the other man frequently went to. Promoting his new books was important though, and so Shuichi went with him out of loyalty and love...and because he had nothing else to do. Hiro was having a date with Ayaka and Ryuichi was having a date with Tatsuha. So...he was having a sort-of-but-not-quite date with Yuki.

He smiled and waved at Mizuki-san who was standing a little ways away at the food stand and wished he himself was over there trying all that delicious looking food, he could feeling his mouth watering already just at the thought. "Ne, Yuki?"

"No," the other man replied quickly, not even waiting for him to finish.

Shuichi frowned slightly in response, tapping his foot on the ground. "You didn't even listen to what I was going to say!"

"I don't care," Eiri Yuki replied. "The answer would still be no."

Shuichi felt his eyes fill and stubbornly shook his head. "Fine," he sighed out, turning to look at the food longingly. He could hear his stomach grumbling but he ignored it, instead waiting for Yuki to finish talking to this newest person who had vied for the popular author's attention. "Yuki?" He tried again, pulling on the older man's sleeve slightly.

The blond-haired man let out an exasperated sigh in response, turning to the pink-haired boy. "What?" He demanded.

Shuichi cringed back and let go of the man's sleeve, dropping his arms to his side uselessly. "Nothing, I'm just going over there to talk to Mizuki-san." He left the other man still talking to yet another prestigious woman and walked slowly over to the buffet table, eyes on the floor, scuffling his new trainers slightly. Why was Yuki being so mean today? He'd been fine before they left. Maybe it was having to talk to all these different people that was quickly shredding up his nerves?

He made it over to the long table without mishap and immediately grabbed a paper plate, filling it with all sorts of foods that were offered. He failed to find Mizuki though and assumed she had also gone to mingle with the other people.

This wasn't the place for him. He belonged on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans, not this quiet, stuffy place. He felt strangled, desperate for air, a way to get out. Closing his eyes tightly before opening them wide again he grabbed the food and started scoffing it down himself, ignoring the curious and amazed looks of those around him. He didn't care what they thought. He was hungry and he was going to eat the way he wanted to!

It was only a few minutes later when he'd finished half of the food that he started to feel slightly sick and stopped. "Ugh, too many cakes..." He muttered to himself, still holding his plate in his hands. He looked over to where Yuki would still be standing and grinned happily to himself as he noticed the other man smiling...but then he noticed who the other man was smiling with.

His own grin failed as he watched them, looking at Seguchi's animated hand movements and lively expression. What was he doing here? Why Seguchi Tohma be at a book convention-thing?

He was just about to go over there when he noticed the two of them walking away. Out of the door to the patio outside...didn't Yuki remember he was still here? He watched them go, staying glued to his spot.

He only moved when he saw Tohma reach out to slip his hand into Yuki's and...Yuki let him.

His food went careening to the floor and he let out a choked cry. "Y-Yuki..." he felt his eyes begin to fill again and this time he let them, feeling his cheeks begin to feel wet. Why was Yuki leaving with Tohma? Why was Yuki leaving him behind?

This...Yuki loved him! This wasn't right! Why wasn't he taking Shuichi out onto the patio? Holding hands with him and smiling at him and...why? He tried to calm himself down, knowing he was jumping to conclusions. He looked over at the two of them, seeing the interested look on Yuki's face, and the happy expression on Tohma's. Yuki never looked at him like that...was never interested in anything he had to say, immediately shutting him up instead. His eyes followed the two of them until they were both outside, not being able to tear his eyes away. This was...why was Yuki going out...out i there /i with Tohma. Shuichi had heard rumours about what went on out there on the patio and...why were Yuki and Tohma going out there? Why hadn't Yuki taken him out there!

"Doushte Yuki?" He asked forlornly before suddenly running out of the stuffy filled room himself, moving around the other people to crash into the door. He roughly pulled it open and stepped out into the cool night. He ignored the darkness, the calls from behind him and raced out into the dark.

All he could hear was his speeding heart, the sound of his feet pattering on the ground. He didn't notice where he was going, had no set place in mind as he ran, not taking account of the millions of alleyways he went through. He lost track of the nameless faces he came across and when he eventually stopped he choked on another cry and slid down a wall to rest on the floor.

Burying his face into his hands he let the tears fall freely down his face, letting them trail down to form water marks on his trousers. He'd dressed up tonight, for Yuki. Worn a suit, a penguin suit that Hiro would have laughed at. That Ryuichi would have loved to imitate.

This was...he could feel his heart breaking into a thousand pieces, again and again and he couldn't do anything to stop it. "Yuki...you promised...Yuki..." he let his words trail off and kept quiet for an uncountable amount of minutes.

It wasn't supposed to be like this...he loved Yuki and he knew that Yuki loved him back. "I...Yuki...why? Seguchi-san is...I..." He couldn't speak anymore, he could feel his throat becoming clogged up with emotion and he felt so helpless. "This isn't fair!" He dug his hands into his eyes, whimpering slightly as he rocked on the heels of his shoes. His outfit was ruined, his heart was ruined, everything was ruined!

"What's not fair, love?" A drunken voice slurred from above him.

Looking up quickly Shuichi shuffled back into the wall, wrapping his arms around his upraised knees. Someone had heard him...but they couldn't see him in the dark...maybe if he just crept away.

Then a bright light was shining straight into his eyes and he winced, bringing up a hand to defend himself from the startling rays. His eyes, already raw and hurting from the pain of crying, red and sore, were further tortured by the brightness. "Take the light away," he managed.

A man stepped forward then, tall and dark against the background of light. It looked...odd, not right, lights were supposed to surround angels. "Don't think I will," he replied, "you look so beautiful in the light. Like that Eiri kid..."

Eiri? Yuki Eiri? Shuichi let out a gasp of shock and quickly made to stand, feeling his legs almost giving up on him but stubbornly holding onto the wall behind him. He squared his shoulders a little and glared at the man. "You've met Uesugi Eiri?" He asked- no, demanded. He had to see if his suspicions were correct. Jumping to conclusions at a time like this wouldn't help any. "What...how?"

The other man smirked and smiled at him slightly. "I guess you'll find out in a minute right love?" He asked, coming closer.

Shuichi quickly moved back away from the man, shuffling along the wall until he was stopped by another one. He was in a dead end alley? Perfect. "Baka," he muttered to himself, feeling the tears start up again. "Yuki's baka, he's right. I'm an idiot."

The man let out an impatient bark of laughter, "Stop muttering to yourself and get over here."

Shuichi shook his head quickly and dived down behind a bin, hearing it rattle alarmingly as he banged his head into it. "Itai!" He cried out, holding his head. He knew there'd be a bruise in the morning. Just like they'd be scrapes along his legs from where he'd thrown himself down, and tears in his suit that Yuki wasn't going to like...Yuki.

He shook his head again, trying to rid himself of those thoughts and concentrate on the task at hand. Yuki wasn't here! He had to get himself out of the mess he'd dug himself into.

He cautiously peered over the bin and wondered where the man had gone. He wasn't standing in the place he had been.

Then he began to feel the hard weight on his back and he let out a moan of pain as something dug harshly into his ribcage. The man's shoe...he let out a gasp and huddled into himself, trying to save his ribs from further damage.

He cried silently to himself, begging Yuki to come and find him...beginning anyone to come and find him. He...this was making him feel so helpless and he hated it! What had happened to the great singer of Bad Luck? He was going to be famous! Damn Seguchi-san! And..."Baka Yuki," he said through gritted teeth, feeling his hands clench into fists. Damn the man on top of him, determined to try and hurt him in all ways possible...The way he'd been paid...to do to Yuki.

That thought stuck in his mind, turning around in his brain, replaying over and over in his brain. It wouldn't go away, even was the other man scratched at his back. He'd done this…to Yuki...his love!

He reached out with his fists, pummelling at the other man harshly, screaming at him to get attention. He pulled up his leg to knee the other man in the groin and smiled slightly at the grunt that echoed because of the action. He then bit down on the hand that held his shoulder down, that same hand quickly drawing back. He spat then on the other man, showing his disgust for the human being who had dared to hurt his Yuki before ducking down under the man's arm and running again, racing away on tired feet and wary legs. His roughly wiped at his eyes as he went, trying to remember which way he'd come. He had to see Yuki again!

He had to go ask the other man to his face. He couldn't just forget about what Yuki had told him that one time by the lake. At his house...Yuki wouldn't forget that either would he?

No, Yuki loved him. Him, Shindou Shuichi, not Seguchi Tohma. He didn't love the keyboardist of Nittle Grasper, he loved the vocalist of Bad Luck. He did! Or...Shuichi was going to find out the cold, harsh truth for the first time since they'd met.

He made it back to the stuffy, warm room, panting and out of breath. He looked a state surrounded by gloms and prestige, with wind-blown hair, mud on his face and tattered, torn clothes. His cheeks blushed pink slightly in embarrassment and he ducked his head from the curious stares, looking around for the person he wanted to see.

When he couldn't see the blond head, cool smile and beautiful eyes, he let his own amethyst eyes fall on Mizuki-san instead and he elbowed through the crowd to get to the other woman.

"Mizuki-san!" He cried, grabbing hold of the woman's wrist. "Where's Yuki? I have to find him! Please tell me where he is!" He looked at the chic woman with anxious, wide eyes. Wide from delayed shock and something else. He had to find out where Yuki was!

"Shindou-san...what's wrong?" Yuki's editor replied back, first cheerfully before she took in Shuichi's appearance. "What happened?" She asked instead in surprise.

"Anou...it was rather short actually. Some guy attacked me in an alley but he got what was coming to him." He barked out a laugh, waving his arms in the air wildly before calming down and coughing slightly. "I need to find Yuki! Please Mizuki-san?"

"He went out with Seguchi-san a few moments ago. If I remember correctly you were eating over by the buffet table when they left."

Shuichi nodded impatiently before quickly thanking the other woman and head-tailing for it outside onto the patio, which he now realised was now an extensive garden. He let out a moan of dissatisfaction. How was he supposed to find Yuki in all of this?

He bit his lip slightly before starting to run again, rushing around through the gardens and disturbing other couples looking for a few moments of quiet before joining the fray back inside. He muttered quick apologies here and there as he went, wincing when he got some couples in more...compromising positions, smirking at a few he saw, taking pointers from others. He almost stopped when he caught sight of two males heavily making out under a tree before he shook his head and brought his attention back to the task at hand.

"Must...find...Yuki..." He managed through gritted teeth.

"What is it now, baka?" A cold voice said from behind him.

Shuichi twirled around sharply, almost falling over in his haste before he launched himself at the other man eagerly. "Yuki!" He exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around the taller man. "I'm so glad I found you."

"If I recall Shindou-san, we are the one's that found you," an amused voice said from behind the blond-haired man.

Shuichi's eyes widened and he quickly disentangled himself from Yuki, missing the strange look he got from the older man. "Ah...really...I, uh...you see. I wanted to talk to Yuki alone," Shuichi replied quickly.

The producer and keyboardist raised an eyebrow before turning to Yuki. "If Eiri-san wants me to leave I shall go back inside and have another little chat with Mizuki-san." He somehow turned the question into a statement, a fact Shuichi was well aware and slightly envious over. But Yuki was his. Right?

Yuki gave a slight nod towards the other blond-haired man and Tohma bowed slightly before taking his leave. "I will talk to you later Eiri-san, about what we were previously talking about."

Shuichi watched Yuki nod in response and almost gulped when the cold, but still hauntingly beautiful, eyes turned to him. He could feel his toes curling in his shoes and he had to fight the urge to smile dopily back at the other man. But he smiled back anyway, a bright, wide smile that belied what had happened just moments ago to him.

He didn't care about that...his Yuki was paying attention to him...and only him!

"What is it, baka?" The other man said abruptly.

Shuichi continued to just smile before he suddenly reached up and kissed the other man full on the lips, taking the other man by surprise. When he didn't react for the first few seconds Shuichi pulled back just as quickly, feeling doubt crawling upon him again. Maybe he was wrong...again.

"Yuki...I...I wanted to ask you something..." His voice trailed off slightly and he looked down at his feet, scuffling his shoes again on the smooth concrete beneath them.

"What is it? Just spit it out." Shuichi looked up at the other man, pouting slightly.

"You don't have to be so mean about it! I'm trying to talk to you and..." He wrapped his arms around himself, casting his eyes to the floor again, feeling yet more tears fill his eyes. Hadn't he cried enough today? You'd think he'd be used to the constant verbal abuse by now.

He was amazed when Yuki reached out to gently tilt his head upwards, reaching out his other to wipe at his tear-stained cheeks.

"Anou...Yuki...do you love Seguchi-san?" He asked, wincing slightly, half-not wanting to hear the answer.

Yuki looked at the boy, to startled for a moment to reply. His gaze turned questioning before he raised the hand that had previously been holding Shuichi's chin to his forehead, tiredly rubbing at it. "You thought that? Baka," he smirked slightly and reached down to caress the boy's lips lightly with his own. "Is that why you ran off?"

Shuichi let out a gasp, not just because of the tender, kind lips but the words that came from them. "You mean...you saw me! Then why didn't you come after me?"

Yuki breathed out an impatient sigh. "I thought you just needed some fresh air! How was I supposed to know you were being a baka again?"

"You went off with Seguchi-san! How was I supposed to know what that meant?" Shuichi replied in his defence, standing up straight so he could look the other man in the eye, face set in a determined expression. He lifted a finger to point at Yuki's chest. "You...I thought that maybe you didn't love me anymore and I got scared!"

Yuki shook his head in defeat, pulling the boy closer to him and wrapping his arms around him. "Nothing happened between me and Tohma, you're being delusional."

Shuichi almost stuck his tongue out but refrained from the gesture and instead wrapped his hands around Yuki and pulled him down for another kiss. "Yuki? You know..." No, he wouldn't mention that. Not when Yuki was being so kind and...loving to him. Maybe some other time. He wouldn't bring up bad memories for the other man now. He nodded slightly instead. "You know I love you. And...I don't like Seguchi-san!"

Yuki raised an eyebrow but decided to question this new piece of idiocy coming from his lover. He was used to such outcries by now. Shuichi would forget he'd even said it tomorrow. "Whatever baka, just shut up now," he closed his mouth effectively over Shuichi's. Best way to shut the idiot up. Now all he had to do was find out why the other boy looked like he'd been through the bushes backwards. Later though, a lot later.

To be continued...? If you like it maybe


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I meant to have this written two days ago but I suddenly became extremely busy, I have no idea how that happened -.-; God I do not want to become one of those people who never update their fics, just kick me if I don't update within say...two weeks :kicks self: There, I did it for you this time. Hm...also because of what ShindouEiri pointed out to me, and my obsession with inserting random Japanese into my stories (sorry about that, it just seems to make them flow better in my mind o.o;;) I'll be inserting a Japanese-English glossary at the bottom. Any words I miss out though be free to tell me and I'll insert them at the bottom of the next chapter for you. Oh and guess who now has the first four volumes of the Gravitation manga? XDD Anyway, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: Gravitation, its plot and characters, do not belong to me in anyway -.-; :insert funny, witty comment here because I'm too lazy to think of my own: XP

**Not Supposed to Be... **

Chapter Two

Shuichi hummed quietly as he washed himself off, wincing as the sponge passed over the cuts and scratches that littered his body. He could still remember his small scramble in the alley, well...of course he still remembered. It had only been a few days and...he'd come so close to...he choked as his thoughts lingered before he ruthlessly pushed them down, squashing them before they could rise again. "I don't want to think about you!"

"Don't want to think about who? Having a fun time in there?" A voice teased from outside, long and drawling before it turned impatient. "Have your wet dreams somewhere else! Hurry up and get out of the shower!" A loud banging quickly followed; the sound of the door being knocked hard. "You take forever!"

Shuichi gasped as he heard Tatsuha's voice and quickly turned the steaming hot water off, stepping out of the bath and slipping on the tiles, grasping onto the side rail before he ended up falling onto the floor. Drying himself quickly, all the time listening to Tatsuha's exasperated and annoyed calling, Shuichi dressed himself and threw the towels in the laundry basket Yuki had set out before opening the door.

Tatsuha muttered a 'finally' before diving in past him and shutting the door in his face. Shuichi grinned and walked to Yuki's studio, peeking his head through the door to check if the older man was actually at his computer, which he was, before going inside. "Yuki!" He exclaimed joyfully as he went and sat beside Yuki's desk chair.

Yuki spared him a glance before getting back to work, cigarette dangling out of one corner of his mouth. Shuichi watched him pressing buttons down on his computer in something akin to a trance before shaking his head quickly and poking Yuki's thigh. "Ne, Yuki? Why is Tatsuha here?"

Yuki raised an eyebrow, looking down at the violet-eyed boy and taking his cigarette out so he could talk clearly. "You know why, I told you last night."

"You did?" Shuichi blinked as he backtracked, thinking through his memories of last night. Nittle Grasper video, call from Hiro, call from K-san, bugged Yuki, burnt Yuki's dinner... "I don't remember you telling me anything," he finally said, scowling slightly as he thought it through. "You didn't say anything about Tatsuha."

"Oh, didn't I? Guess I must've forgot then."

"You forgot! Yuki! Isn't it kind of important that I know your little brother is coming round?"

Yuki shrugged and carried on typing, ignoring Shuichi completely if the glazed look in his eyes was anything to go by. The pink-haired boy say by his side for a few moments before sighing and standing up, shaking his legs slightly to get the blood flowing through them properly again.

He went out into the corridor and into the living room where he saw Tatsuha sprawled out on the couch watching an old Nittle Grasper video, the same one Shuichi had been watching with Yuki last night. "Hey, Tatsuha? Why are you here?"

"Didn't aniki tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Shuichi asked, getting impatient for answers. Why was he always the last one to find out something? Even when the important something was happening he didn't know until the last minute.

"That...er...nothing, doesn't matter." He yawned and flicked the channel over, and again, continuing to channel surf for a few moments whilst Shuichi glared at him.

"I want to know! What the hell is going on!" He yelled, raising his fists in the air.

"Hey, chill!" Tatsuha replied hastily, glancing in the direction of his brother's study and breathing a sigh of relief when the author didn't come rushing in demanding to know what was going on. 'Don't worry aniki, I just caused your lover to pop is all.' Yeah, like that would go down well. "Nothing's happening...much. Just that Nittle Grasper are meeting here later."

"Huh?" Shuichi replied, the anger deflating out of him as he sank to the ground confused. "Why here? Why not as NG, or anou...why not somewhere else?"

"Tohma suggested it, he's bringing Mika along so it's sort of like a...er...get-together I guess. Everyone and their dog is coming." He grinned at that, knowing his 'dog' was coming as well.

"So I guess Sakuma-san is coming to then?" Shuichi replied with a wicked grin, waggling his eyebrows before ducking the cushion that was thrown at him. He threw it back at him before rushing out of the room, laughing slightly as he ran back into Yuki's study, disturbing the man's concentration yet again. "Oi Yuki!" He said, hands on hips as he scowled at Yuki's back. "Why didn't you tell me everyone was coming round?"

"Oh...that...I guess I should have told you that last night, must have slipped my mind. Oh well," he smirked at Shuichi briefly before turning his attention back to his computer.

Shuichi fumed behind him before heaving a sigh and stomping out again, looking around the apartment and seeing what a mess it was in. This called for Super Cleaning Shuichi! Rushing into the kitchen he grabbed all the cleaning agents and cloths and attacked the rooms one by one, scrubbing the floors and surfaces until they shone, all the while watched by a lazing Tatsuha.

He stopped only once to glare at the younger boy and ask if he was going to help and gave up when the other only replied by saying that he was a guest and he shouldn't be made to work. So Shuichi found himself stuck cleaning the whole house by himself in the smallest time limit possible. He didn't even know when the others were coming! He left Yuki's study because chances were that the other man wouldn't let anyone in there anyway and focused on the main living areas, making sure everything was clean and ready for their guests to arrive.

When he'd finally finished and the rooms were all but sparkling, he collapsed on the floor beside Yuki's desk and looked up at him from where he now lay. "I...finished...cleaning everything..." He managed in-between laboured breaths. Who knew cleaning was so _hard_?

Yuki simply looked at him before smirking and shaking his head. "Pathetic," he said briefly before standing up and shutting his computer down after saving his work. "I guess I should get ready for the interlopers." He decided, patting Shuichi on the head as he went by into the bedroom. Shuichi followed him.

"Yuki! Talk to me, I want to know the real reason why everyone is coming round here. Tell me!" He demanded as he stuck his foot in the bedroom door, his opponent on the other side attempting to shut him out. He let out a slight cry of pain as his injured foot was abused but kept with it, making his only visible sign of pain be a slight wince that took over his features.

Yuki saw and immediately let up, although the action went unnoticed by Shuichi who merely thought that Yuki had given in. He jumped into the bedroom, hanging his arms around Yuki's neck like a monkey and merely swinging there for a few moments before he stood glaring at him, "Why didn't you tell me?" He moaned, sniffling piteously and wiping at an eye. "I deserve to know!"

"Baka," Yuki snorted, going through his wardrobe to find something presentable to wear. Not that he cared, it was just expected of him to look good. Which he always did anyway but that was beside the point. "Shuichi," he said, grasping the boy's chin and forcing it upwards to look at him, leading the boy on was just giving him a headache. "You weren't told because I was led to believe you wouldn't be here."

"Huh?" Shuichi muttered back unintelligibly, blinking up silently at Yuki who barely held back an exasperated sigh.

"Your friend Hiro was supposedly taking you out for the day so that you wouldn't get in the way. Unfortunately he cancelled because he needed to take Ayaka back to Kyoto." Shuichi continued blinking at him stupidly before frowning slightly.

"So...you didn't mean to leave me out intentionally?" He summed up, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. At Yuki's nod he grinned widely and lifted himself up on his tiptoes to kiss the man on his cheek, beaming at him. "I knew it!" He exclaimed happily before bouncing out of the room. "I'm gonna go get ready now!" He shouted from the bathroom, the noise closely followed by the bang of the door shutting quickly.

Yuki simply rolled his eyes and prayed today didn't go too badly.

He wasn't ready to see them yet, Shuichi decided as he sat on the toilet seat, scrunching up rolls of tissue paper into balls in his hands and lobbing them at the wall. He'd thought he could at least have a few weeks to get his rampant emotions under control before they all decided to visit. Why now of all times? When he was feeling his most vulnerable. "I don't want to see Seguchi-san!" He shouted at the wall, throwing a tissue ball so hard it bounced back and hit him on the head.

He looked down at it dazed for a few long moments before picking it up and poking it experimentally. Shuichi let his hand fall weakly to his side, swinging in slightly as he muttered under his breath. He couldn't act like this out there either, couldn't let them catch on that everything was not as it normally was. He had to act normal! More or less, "Stupid Seguchi-san bringing his little party here." He was all but growling when Yuki knocked on the door.

"You seem to enjoy spending long moments in the bathroom, baka." He said through the thick wood. "It could make someone curious as to why you spend so long in there."

Shuichi could see devil-Yuki cackling in his head, and then, somehow the devil-Yuki turned into a demon-Seguchi who came along and grabbed up angel-Yuki, carting him away. Shuichi watched as angel-Yuki called out for help and a small angel-Shuichi that came to his help, only to be stepped on and squashed to the ground by an angel-Seguchi. "That's it!" Shuichi exclaimed. "No demons or Seguchi are taking _my_ Yuki! YUKI IS MINE!"

"Shut the hell up you idiot," Yuki angrily shouted from the other side of the wall, "And get out of this bathroom before you make a complete fool of yourself!"

Shuichi pouted but threw his last tissue paper ball down the toilet, flushing it to make it seem like he'd actually been doing something in there before opening the door and looking around to see Yuki storming away into the living room. He gave a small sigh as he closed the door quietly behind him and started towards the same room until the bell rang. He blinked and looked towards the door before deciding it'd probably be best if he answered the thing. Bad things needed to be done quickly so they could be set out of the way.

Bolstering his courage he stalked up to the door and opened it quickly, so quickly that Ryuichi Sakuma, who had been about to knock again, was sent tumbling into him, knocking both flat onto the ground.

"Sakuma-san! Get off me, you're so heavy!" Shuichi complained to his idol, not intending to be rude but not in the mood right then for fun and games.

"Shuichi!" Ryuichi replied, pouting as he got up off the floor, dusting himself down as Tohma coughed meaningfully into his hand. "Ne, Tohma's sick!" He said loudly, preparing to shout something else before Noriko clapped him around the mouth.

"Ryu-chan," she said threateningly, "If you embarrass me one more time today you're going to regret it, are we clear?" Ryuichi meeped and nodded his head and Noriko eventually let him go and walked off into the living room.

Ryuichi watched her go, his mouth slightly open. "Maa, Nori-chan's kowai!" He said, moving closer to Tohma as the other laid a comforting hand on Ryuichi's shoulder and steered him in the same direction Noriko had disappeared off to. "You know she's had a hard week, with her daughter and all..."

"Hai," Ryuichi replied with a slow nod of his head, his expression going serious and slightly sad for a moment before he abruptly shook his head and exploded into tears. "But she doesn't have to take it out on meee!" He whined.

Shuichi watched his favourite singer, and idol, acting like a six-year-old child and grinned widely, ready to join in when he felt something yanking at his collar and turned to see Yuki looked at him coldly. "Don't even think about it," he warned before turning to their guests with a polite, but otherwise detached smile. "I'd say it's a pleasure but...you've barged into my home after all the times I've said no this past week and made me have to put up with my brother lazing around my apartment all day."

Tohma replied with the same polite smile and bowed his head a little. "I apologise Eiri-san for intruding," he said, voice light and cheerful. "However we needed somewhere...out of the office, a place to be comfortable whilst we discuss something of the utmost importance. You will just have to hospitable for a few moments, ne Eiri-san?" Yuki merely snorted, for which Shuichi praised him in his head, bowing down at his feet. He didn't appreciate Tohma's delighted expression however as he linked arms with Yuki and dragged him off into the living room, leaving Shuichi behind on his own.

Why did he all of a sudden get this sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach? Like a plug had come out and was sucking away slowly at his insides until there was nothing left? Or was it just a horrible sense of foreboding that overcast everything else?

Shaking his head Shuichi walked into the living room determinedly only to almost deflate on the spot when he saw how everyone was set out, all the room on the couch had been taken. As had the chairs that were scattered around, pulled closer so they made a tightly formed circle. Almost leaving him out...had they done that intentionally or was it entirely self-conscious? Did they really not want him there that much? Now that he was...but they didn't know that did they? They couldn't know, they couldn't!

Casting a fearful look around at all of them Shuichi looked from Ryuichi's happy face, to Tatsuha's, to Noriko's annoyed and worried expression to Mika's one of boredom, crossing over to Tohma's animated features as he talked to Yuki to...Yuki's face. It hit him in the stomach so quickly he let out a gasp on inaudible pain, his eyes going wide. Yuki...looking back at Tohma with an expression of interest, listening to his thoughts whereas...he'd never listened to Shuichi's. 'Baka' this and 'how idiotic' and 'what the hell are you going on about Shuichi?' When had ever actually really listened? Was Shuichi just a small, mindless bother? Would it be better if he just...disappeared?

Raking in the looks on their faces Shuichi had the sinking feeling that no one would miss if he did disappear, was he that insignificant? Probably.

Gulping down ridiculous tears that threatened to come, Shuichi stumbled out of the room, racing into the bathroom where he abruptly threw up all the contents of his breakfast. Increasingly feeling more and more pitiful as he sat there for moments after, his head lying on the lid of the toilet seat, his hot face plastered to the coolness of plastic. What if he could just disappear? Would they...miss him?

To be continued in chapter three!

**Glossary**

Doushte- from chapter one, why?

aniki- older brother

oi- hey!

baka- idiot

kowai- scary

hai- yes

Extra authors notes: Any words I've messed up please tell me and I'll correct it right away :D And I know, I know -.-; Bad place to end it, but I really couldn't see another way of finishing it so...just be satisifed with what you've got XP Thanks to Regina for beta-ing this, there probably would have been a million typos and mistakes otherwise that I would've missed. I'm quitebad at going over my own stuff...And others :coughs: Anyway, hope you enjoyed! This should be finished in another chapter, or two as I foresee it, so yay! Almost finished


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hm...first of all, I personally hate this chapter >>;; It took way to long to type and now it just seems...choppy. I like the end bit though Oh! And in terms of Japanese words used last chapter, 'kowai' means scary and 'kawaii' is cute I believe...coughs Or it could just be me getting mixed up. Why have words so similiar when they mean completely different things? Ugh, anyway! This chapter has not been Beta-read so...read with warning? At least I went over it this time...Enjoy and review! XD

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, Gravitation is out of my hands...sadly enough. Bah humbug.

**Not Supposed to Be... by Sumi-chan**

Chapter Three

Shuichi stood up when he heard the harsh knocking of the door, clearing his throat quickly and asking what the person wanted.

An agitated sigh on the other side followed by more knocking forced Shuichi to walk to the bathroom door and open it, sticking his pink head out to see who was there. He only just ducked the fist that came flying at him, aiming for the place were the door had been, the fist flying by his head, ruffling his hair.

Noriko quickly stopped, looking at him in annoyance and slight surprise. "I wonder how Tatsuha knew you'd be in here...Oh never mind that. You're wanted in the living room." She gave him a brief smile, patting him on the head as she walked ahead of him back towards where she'd come from. Shuichi slowed his walk down to a mere shuffling of his feet as they entered, facing the floor so he wouldn't have to see them.

"I brought him back," Noriko pronounced, shoving him out from behind her to show he was there before dragging him over and thrusting him onto the couch.

Shuichi ended up in the more-or-less comfortable position of being squashed up against Yuki. And in his books, this happened to be a very good thing. Especially because he could feel Yuki's body heart through his clothes, the warmth of him scorching Shuichi's own body and making him sigh and snuggle closer. Yuki merely rolled his eyes, muttering a 'Don't get any ideas' before turning back to his conversation with Tohma.

'It's not supposed to be like that.' The thoughts echoed through Shuichi's mind as he was forced to simply sit back and watch the others, silent beside the blond author sitting next to him. 'I'm the one supposed to talk to Yuki, I'm his lover, I'm his friend, I should be his everything! But no, Seguchi-san has to take a part and steal him, talking to him, leaning his face in close...' Closer than Shuichi had ever been, he understood Yuki, understood him completely, knew more about him than Shuichi probably ever would. Shuichi could be close to him, sitting right next to him, and yet there was an irreparable distance that Shuichi doubted he could cross.

"Maybe Seguchi-san can," he muttered bitterly, pulling his legs up in self-defence of his own feelings and kneeing Yuki in the jaw. When he realised what he'd done a torrent of apologies left his lips, eyes wide as the rest of the people assembled laughed their heads off. Yuki simply glared at him, chin turning a distinct shade of red. "I'm sorry Yuki! I didn't mean to!"

"Shut up, idiot!"

Shuichi dropped his head, standing up and walking off, not wanting to sit there any longer. He hated it. He stumbled slightly, feet not wanting to leave the safety of the ground as he travelled, kicking slightly at the carpet. He could still hear them laughing from the safety of the kitchen a few minutes later, hear their hearty conversation continue without him.

"Damn it!" He turned on the cold tap, sticking his head under it and letting the water run through his pink hair, feeling his brain beginning to freeze from the onslaught of cold water but not caring.

"Shindou-san, I don't think that's healthy." A voice came from the doorway, a pleasant, off-standing voice that he was beginning to hate. Dripping sweetness, warm charity and brilliance, in walked Tohma Seguchi, disturbing Shuichi's attempt to freeze his brain and efficiently turning off the tap, shoving a towel into the singer's hands. "We don't want your vocal chords to become effected by such a display of ill will now, do we Shindou-san?" Tohma continued, his voice turning cool as he looked at the singer.

Shuichi silently shook his head, emotions numb, but not from the cold of the water, more from the icy glare that was sent his way as Tohma backed him up against the counter, hands out on either side, successfully trapping the younger boy.

The pink-haired boy gulped, looking away from the blue eyes of the owner of NG, looking anywhere else in the kitchen.

"Shindou-san, I'd like to have a talk to you," Tohma said simply, leaning in closer to him, forcing Shuichi to bend his back to get away. Like he had any choice, Shuichi thought desperately, looking for someway to escape. Did he have to stand so close?

"Eh? What about?" He finally got the courage to reply, voice shaking slightly as he prayed to the Gods above, or whatever else was up there, to save him the wrath of his possibly-pissed of boss. 'I didn't mean it, whatever I did!'

"You conduct Shindou-san, it is unacceptable."

"My conduct?" Shuichi was stumped, what the hell was Tohma going on about? He hadn't been doing anything out of the ordinary lately, unless you counted running into an almost-rapist, escaping by a strand of his hair. He knew he was going to have to talk Yuki about that sometime, maybe warn him that such men were about.

"Yes, your conduct. Particularly the way you act around certain people." That simply confused the pink-haired boy even more. He never acted as anything but a best friend to Hiro and an almost-sort-of-maybe-friend with Fujisaki-san! What was the blond-haired man referring to?

"I don't...understand Seguchi-san."

An impatient sigh, the breath almost searing Shuichi's skin as he gulped, afraid of the sparking blue eyes now trapping his. Sparks of fire flying out to burn him, and all manner of ill things. He was dead, simply put. Roasted on a Tohma-made fire, made only for him. This wasn't fair!

"It's pretty simple Shindou-san," Tohma replied. Shuichi couldn't understand how the other could keep his voice so...level and calm as he talked when his eyes were all but spitting flames at Shuichi. "It all boils down to one person: Eiri-san."

Yuki? What about Yuki? He hadn't done anything that might have upset the older man had he? Well...other than hitting him accidentally just seconds ago, but why would Tohma want to talk to him about that? He knew he'd done wrong! He'd apologised right after, so what was the problem? Shuichi stared at Tohma, not comprehending anything about the blond-haired man. "I don't...understand what you're getting at Seguchi-san," he finally said.

Tohma frowned and finally dropped his arms, stepping away from Shuichi and walking over to the kettle, turning it on and listening to it start up for a few minutes whilst he contemplated how to go on. Did he have to whack the pink-haired singer around the head before it got through his thick impenetrable skull? He truly was one of a kind.

"You know of my...relationship with Eiri-san, am I correct?" He asked finally, facing Shuichi.

Warning bells rang off loud and clear in the singer's mind, keening for all to hear as Tohma turned around. The words 'not good' repeated, circling in his mind at the blond haired man's words. And that just about summed it up, not good. Tohma and Yuki's relationship was 'not good', at least, not in Shuichi's eyes anyway.

Cautiously he shook his head, earning a patented sigh from Tohma and a whistle from the kettle as it finally announced the completion of its job. Shuichi eyed it as the blond haired producer took down an assortment of mugs from the cupboard next to him, putting tea bags in some and coffee beans in others. Shuichi guessed that this had been Tohma's excuse to out here in the kitchen, to follow Shuichi and corner him.

"Me and Eiri-san have an...understanding of sorts between us." He smiled, his face a picture of calm serenity as he looked over at Shuichi, his eyes hard and forbidding. "I am his protector and I will do anything to keep him out of harms way. If I see one instance of you hurting him, Shindou-san you will have me to answer too, and I do not take kindly to the way you are treating him lately. You're constantly bothering him and getting in the way of important business. I won't stand for it."

Shuichi was lost, completely and utterly floundering as Tohma continued, all the words washing over him as he kept his silence, simply blinking at Tohma to show he was still alive. Even his breathing had slowed, caught in his throat as Seguchi once more took over his personal space, coming closer to him and poking one refined finger at his chest. "If Eiri-san is put into hospital because of you, or becomes any less happy, you will personally be answering to me. Do you understand, Shindou-san?" His words this time were mocking, the respective placed on Shuichi's name only there for appearances.

Shuichi nodded, gulping down more of the precious air around him, smelling something that was entirely too dangerous to be trifled with before Tohma stepped back. His pleasant smile once more in place as he picked up the tray carrying all the mugs of tea and coffee on it, stepping out of the kitchen once more. "Good to know we agree on something Shindou-san." And then he was gone.

Shuichi stared after him, not moving from his spot as he slid down the counter, being jabbed unpleasantly in his side by the drawer handle. "Ow," he muttered as he finally made contact with the floor.

He sat there for an uncountable amount of minutes, simply trying to take into account everything that Tohma had just said to him, stewing the words in his mind. "I'd rather boil them, fry his words in a pan," he said angrily, reaching out a fist and sending it into the laminated floor, giving a small cry of pain as he lifted it up again, seeing the red mark where contact had been made. Looking at it mournfully he simply stuck it into his mouth, sucking on it. He'd read somewhere, or maybe someone had told him, that sucking on an injury made the pain go away.

Maybe if he sucked on Yuki it'd make all his pain to do with the tall blond-haired man go away. Shuffling back into a corner he gave a small sigh, trying to make himself as small as possible. Maybe he should go somewhere, home, Hiro's, anywhere but here. Yuki didn't want him here, neither did any of the other's currently laughing and talking and generally having a good time.

Laying his legs out flat in front of him, he rested his head back against the wooden cupboard behind him, closing his eyes for a moment and imagining himself somewhere else. "But I don't wanna leave..." He muttered, opening his eyes and glaring down at his knees. "It's Seguchi-san's fault I'm in this mess! He should be the one to leave!"

Standing up he felt his hands once more fist at his sides and he stuffed them into his jeans' pockets, his face set into a stern scowl as he returned to the living room. "You can't bother someone who loves you!" He announced to the room, a hush starting up at the end of his striking sentence. "And...er...Yuki's important business is _my_ important business because we're together now! At least...that's what I think. And I don't care what anyone else thinks about it!"

"Baka," said a dry voice, matched by a small, embarrassed shaking blond head. Yuki looked at him through serious golden eyes and Shuichi could feel his legs become shaky beneath him, quickly sitting cross-legged on the floor before he fell down. "Is that all you have to say?"

Shuichi gulped, looking down at his shoes and playing with the laces of his new trainers, pulling them undone before retying them quickly. He slowly shook his head and Yuki raised an eyebrow in response. "No...I have more to say, but...I won't."

"Why not?" A new voice this time, Tatsuha's low tone adding to the conversation. "I'm sure aniki wants to hear whatever you have to say, Shuichi-kun."

Shuichi frowned in reply, stubbornly remaining quiet and staring down at the carpet, feeling the inquisitive eyes cast in his direction. "I don't want to though."

"Shu-chan's being silly!" Ryuichi inputted, bouncing up to squat down next to Shuichi and poke his head, making it wave from side to side before the pink-haired singer brought his hands up to stop it.

"I am not!" Shuichi replied, batting Ryuichi's probing finger away and shifting himself away from the older singer.

"Yes you are, you wuss!" Mika finally spoke up, standing from her spot beside her husband and coming over to pull Shuichi up, looking him up and down before turning to the rest assembled. "I'm taking him with me on a drive, we'll be back soon." And then she dragged the struggling singer out of the door.

The rest of them simply sat, staring at the rectangular piece of wood long after their retreat. "Er...Mika-san's angry?" Ryuichi asked, wincing as the door slammed after them.

Tatsuha grabbed hold of the older man, bringing him down to sit next to him, snuggling with him on the couch and patting his head. "Don't worry Ryu-chan, don't mind her." He said, kissing him soundly.

Yuki rolled his eyes, wondering why he was in such a meeting when he could be having some alone time. Just him, his computer, and his new story idea, instead he was sitting here in-between his younger brother, currently making-out with a singer double his age and Tohma who seemed intent to lie on him. "God help me," he muttered, looking towards the door. He'd definitely have that talk with Shuichi when he came back.

"Mika-san?" Shuichi asked, looking at his two index fingers as he tried to line them up together, focusing on them completely as he tried to ignore the speed they were currently travelling at.

Seguchi Mika merely took the cigarette she'd lit up as soon as they'd got into the car, and threw it out of her open window. She pulled the car to an abrupt stop, not caring where they were as long as they stopped.

Shuichi thanked whatever Gods looked after him that they were currently in a more-or-less deserted lane. Where exactly they were, he didn't know, just that they were far from Yuki's apartment. "Er Mika-san? Where the hell are we?" He asked, peeking his head out of the window to look before he was abruptly pulled back, Mika's hand wrapping around the cloth of his collar.

"Are you too much of a wimp to fight for the man you love!" She demanded angrily, shaking him. "Well? What was that little display back there, huh? What happened to Shindou Shuichi declaring his love from stages? What happened to that!"

"I grew up," Shuichi replied glumly, looking away from her as Mika threw him back against the seat, an expression of almost disgust on her face as she hurried to get out of the car, throwing the door closed behind her with enough force to rock the whole machine. Shuichi quickly followed her, watching as Mika lit up another cigarette, walking for a few metres before abruptly stopping and turning back to him.

The lights from passing cars lit up her figure, shining in her hair as they safely past her by and Shuichi had to gulp as he saw her. Seguchi Mika was an imposing creature, a beautiful woman of perfect stature with an attitude to match her almost perfect looks.

"You did not grow up Shindou Shuichi," she said, glaring at him. "I haven't seen such a pathetic display since...no, I've never seen such a ridiculous display!" She stopped for a moment, breathing in deeply before she carried on, seeming to haul in her raving emotions. "Look, I know Tohma had a talk with you..."

"You know what Seguchi-san said to me!"

Mika rolled her eyes, tapping her cigarette before taking a long drag of it, closing her eyes momentarily to enjoy the breath of nicotine before she took it out again to talk. "Anyone with half a brain could tell that was his true objective to go into the kitchen. I don't pretend to know just what he said, but I can guess what the topic was. It was my brother, Eiri, wasn't it?" She asked, her eyes imploring.

It struck Shuichi then as he stared at her, Mika looked lost at that moment. She stood in her usual relaxed posture, smoking like she wouldn't get lung cancer if she did it too much, looking at him through eyes that seemed to have almost lost their spark.

"He doesn't...love him." Shuichi began, looking down at his feet. "Seguchi-san that is, not that way I do, I don't think."

"Oh?" Mika replied, her voice almost chilling as her eyes flashed dangerously. "And how would you know?"

"Because," Shuichi went on, biting his lip, scuffling his feet slightly in the dirt. He heard Mika's impatient sigh and swallowed all his courage, looking up at her almost desperately. "Because he can't!" He burst out, wrapping his thin arms around himself, hugging his own body tightly. "Yuki's mine and...Seguchi-san is yours, right?" At Mika's nod, he continued. "I...don't think he loves Yuki, he just wants to look after him, but...he doesn't feel...he can't feel...love for him, because that's my job! And no one can love Yuki but me!"

Mika smiled, for the first time that night that Shuichi had seen, a simple lifting of her lips but Shuichi felt a spark of hope light up in his chest, growing wider as Mika began to talk. "I think you're right Shuichi," she said, moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around him. Shuichi tensed up immediately, his body going as tight as a board as Mika kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you...I guess." She moved away, returning to her abandoned car and pocketing her packet of cigarettes, seeming to have finished her smoking spree as she sat back in her seat, Shuichi copying her example and buckling his seat-belt.

"It's...strange. Feeling gratitude towards someone like you," she said simply. Shuichi didn't know whether to feel annoyed at that sentence or not and in the end remained quiet. "You're a mixture of unprovoked emotion, waiting to spill out at the slightest notion. I like that about you, even if it can get annoying at times." This time he uttered a sound of dismay, which she quickly stopped by waving her hand. "I am only speaking the truth as I see it, Shuichi." She said, starting up the car. "You can be a trying person to know at times and yet...knowing you reaps in rewards as well. We are going to return to the party, and you, Shindou Shuichi, are going to save my brother from the tyrants of my husband whilst I knock some sense into him. This...protective streak of his is getting too large now and as his wife, I won't have it!"

This time, as they went back to the house at what seemed to the singer to be fifty miles per hour, he smiled. A small part of him knowing that everything was going to come to a head when they got back, and feeling strangely giddy about it.

And Yuki is mine, he promised himself as he looked out of the window at the passing buildings and cars, and I'm going to make him realise it!

* * *

**Glossary**

Baka- idiot

And that's this chapter done. One more to go I believe, the big confrontation between Shuichi and Yuki, woohoo! Any other Japanese words I've missed just tell me and I'll tell you next chapter.


End file.
